Today's episode is inspired by summer 2023, which was full of relationship drama without me needing to be in a relationship. My catchphrase was “for the content” which I ended up getting a tattoo of at the end of the year.
This episode was inspired by one of my partners buying me a promise ring after drunkenly calling me to rant about a very unpleasant conversation with their ex. I didn’t care that they talked to their ex, we were never going to be anything serious.
It was the lack of respect and general disregard of my boundaries that upset me. There was also them telling me about the other people they were seeing even after I asked them to stop disclosing that information to me.
One name in particular stood out, which is where you get the lines “all you ever did was hit up the girls that follow me / the ones that be in my dm’s talking about “I love your poetry”.
My lover, look me in my eyes while you tell me you found another Don’t try to deny the allegations when I take this ring off my finger Because all I ever asked was for openness and honesty And all you ever did was hit up the girls that follow me The ones that be in my DM’s talking about “I love your poetry” When they really love my man, loving my stupidity My fault for believing you could change, having hope in humanity I should have listened to you when you said you didn’t deserve me Because late at night when you’re sleep in some other girl’s bed I’m the one that has to feel lonely Wondering what I did wrong to make you choose someone else above me But you’ll say it wasn’t even like that in an attempt to soften the blow That she was just some ass, and it never became emotional Like that’s supposed to make me feel better when the damage is already done Now tell me, baby, in this war of love, which of us have won? The battlefield in my heart is left with eternal scars And you’ll make me think it was my fault Because with my expectations, you were never up to par.
This is one of my favorites to read out loud. I don’t typically perform this one due to the personal nature of it but I’ll recite around my house or to a friend if they want an understanding of my writing style. I think this perfectly encapsulates the essence of “dramatic and delusional” Natasha.
I was holding out hope that someone would change after they told me exactly who they were and why there single. And against my better judgement, I wanted to experience something. Now, I do blame most of that to grieving in unconventional ways, however it was almost self-harm.
I’ve since recognized how stupid and naive I was. And well, it has since turned into a mini poetry series of it’s own, that you can follow below:
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!
With love, always
Natasha K
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