I once interacted with someone who only knew me to be this horrible, manipulative person from stories told by my ex. She confronted me about even though this was only our third time meeting.
The story she told me was filled with inaccuracies and lies that it became clear that he painted me as the villain to save face. I, by no means, am innocent and can admit when I was at fault for things. But the amount of information that was omitted or completely false was what stuck out.
The fact that this wasn’t the first time he had done something like this really upset me. And I listened to Smear Campaign by Tanerelle on the bus to a friend’s pool party while writing what would become this poem.
She was shocked by my niceness, Expecting the manipulative maniac you portrayed me to be So once again, I’m the worst to ever exist, But by all means, go ahead and tell our story Claim all your suffering is because of me, but that it’s only love here Self-medicate at the expense of my name Because your go-to coping mechanism is to defame My character, villainize me, my love I mean, my former lover Say I’m bitter because I won’t sip the sweet lies you try to sell me Steal the lines I cried to you and act as if they were yours Tell everyone how I broke your heart and “how we ended before we could truly start” Leave out the part where you’re holding onto memories Of a version of me that was easy to manipulate Call me out my name as you share stories that you made up in your brain Knowing you can no longer regulate my love life In the most manipulative of ways like poisoning my mind By projecting all your insecurities onto my new partners Because you can’t fathom that they have me, something that you are lacking Just like the respect, commitment, and trust I never received from you Along with the flowers you always promised But conveniently forget to mention on your smear campaign
There is supposed to be a part two to this piece because the shenanigans seem to be on-going. It’s been two years since I originally posted this piece and it’s still new information coming too light despite removing myself from the situation.
Honestly, part two will most likely never drop because I no longer harbor as much animosity within my heart. I have accepted being the villain to his story as his way of justifying his behavior. And I, frankly, do not care. It gave me years worth of poems, a few college essays, ideas for various other projects, and that’s about as much as I can ask for from something that crumbled to dust.
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!
With love, always
Natasha K
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