Lead Me to the River goes through the emotional battle to help someone who doesn't want it and even worse, doesn't want to see you win.
Lead me to the river with stars in your eyes As you tell me about our future life. Everyone tells me you will only drown me with you. But I go anyway seeing the best in you. Row me out to the middle of the sea As we watch the fish swim downstream. Look me in my eyes and tell me it was all a lie Before diving headfirst into self-loathing Strip your life jacket of stability And flail your arms to get attention From who is yet to be defined. When I throw you hope, a rope You refuse, saying you’re not worthy. Then tip our boat over and cause a scene, Disturbing my peace and serenity. When I give you my own life jacket, You take it off and let it float away. Let the rescue crews go right by you And claim that the world is out to get you. Ignore all your chances of survival, Anchor yourself to me, pulling me further from the remnants of my ship Struggle to stay afloat as you push me under. Grin with malice as I begin to wonder Did you ever actually care? Or was it an elaborate affair To turn my happiness into sorrow? Let the last thing I hear be about how I should have saved you. When my body washes ashore tomorrow Play clueless like you were never there And didn’t cause all this despair. You always did say the water was your domain Foolish of me to think that you would use it to keep me safe.
This is about two people. Both water signs that promised me paradise and failed to deliver. If anything, they were worse for my mental wellbeing than I initially believed.
I used to become super codependent on my partners and these two are my most extreme case studies, which is funny because at some point I believed there was a future where I married them at the time I was dealing with them.
Anyway, they both took me to some very low points of my life which created this lovely work of art.
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!
With love, always
Natasha K
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