I once had a conversation with my homegirl from high school about the intimacy shared by former lovers and how it forms a weird, new dynamic in friendship. At the time, I didn’t understand what they meant at all, but as I experienced my own version of it develop, it started to click. I documented it in this poem and sent it to them when I believed it to be done.
You were right. I now know what you mean When you talk about the intimacy shared by former lovers; He’s the only one I can talk to Even when talking about new partners He’s there giving helpful advice And I feel bad about it every time Partly because I still love him And partly because I don’t know if he loves me. He said at first it hurt Listening to my attempt to move on, Then he said he hoped I found someone Just so I won’t be as attached when he’s gone. Am I too much? Am I a burden? I want to detach, I promise I do Yet I cannot seem to Like there’s a force pulling me towards him at all times. I think this is what they meant when they said “soul ties”.
There’s a fine line that a broken up couple often crosses where they become best friends. This line includes a general lack of boundaries for what a healthy relationship between ex’s looks like. I believe this happens because the type of connection that was once there is impossible to gloss over. You feel like no one gets you like they did but hopefully they can help you find someone new. It’s somewhat unfair to both you and the other person because often times it makes it hard to see why things ended in the first place.
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