To start 2024 off, I wanted to reflect on my journey of life and how it’s been similar to one of a butterfly. How the transformation process is scary, yet rewarding. And the process is beautiful in hindsight but feels like torture when you’re in the midst of it.
I was once a caterpillar I spent most of my life in vivid color, With the most vibrant shades of greens Accompanied by the deepest hues of blue. I watched everyone around me grow and evolve While I dreamed of all I would become, Fantasizing about my beautiful purple wings and soaring to new heights. When it was finally it was my turn to hide away in my cocoon, I watched as life went on without me as I prepared for my next phase But suddenly the world started becoming grey Shades slowly faded to black and white And in the blandness of it all, I began to lose my light. With no sense of self, I sought validation, Swapping out toxic cycles, one after another. I spent the years thereafter in confinement with my thoughts, In constant reflection of how to evolve. Now I’m a butterfly, fresh out the cocoon No longer tethered to the cage of my own making I unapologetically feel my emotions, a reminder that I survived Laughing without guilt and crying without shame, Proving that I dug myself out of an early grave Where a version of me that operated out of trauma still lives A version of me that I’m quite happy to forget As I enter this new chapter, bright-eyed not naive Scared and excited to see the world again Ready to explore places, old and new Afraid to let myself rot away in comfort I was told this new me was a work of art Yet I can’t see the color of my own wings Nor the talent everyone claims I have. I only know that I can fly And that I’m a masterpiece unfinished Everchanging, always evolving.
I should come back to this piece more often. It really reflects the person I am becoming and tells a story of my growth. I especially like the line “Everchanging, always evolving” because I’m not the same person I was a month ago. I’m constantly growing and changing, becoming a better version of myself.
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!
With love, always
Natasha K
